The middle class of the country doesn’t have much things to take pride in right now as a group, but every year around this time comes Coke Studio, the best thing to happen to Pakistan and Pakistanis since well the creation of Pakistan. Now before I get accused of being a Coke Studio hater, I’m not, I’ve actually really liked some of the songs from the previous seasons (Like that Arif Lohar song in which he repeats the same two words for about 8 minutes while clapping two metal sticks together.) but we as Pakistanis have this habit of going over-board with a lot of things we do.
Whenever we are at a family gathering or an occasion and the conversation is starting to get stale, one of my uncles or cousins winks or prods me. And that is my cue to launch into my favorite topic:
Army bashing.
And the target is always abba, who after some 30 plus years of following his passion and serving at all terrains in uniform, never fails to rise to the occasion, and defend ‘my second mother’ whenever anyone dares even raise a finger to it.
I was standing outside in the hospital corridor, opposite nursery waiting for my wife to return from operation theatre, after giving birth to our second child. Anxiety was in process of being replaced with happiness and I was enjoying the quiet moment.
Few minutes later, a nurse brought a new born baby boy and few ladies (family of the new born) followed her. One of the ladies, who looked like a typical grandmother sort of stood out from rest of the crowd. There was something not normal about her. She was constantly wiping off her tears, saying things like ‘My son is back’, ‘Mein Sadqey Jaoon’, ‘Mera beta aagaya’.
At first I thought it’s just another over reacting joyous grandmother. While rest of the family went to room, she remained in front of the window of nursery, looking at her grandson, and repeating her chants. It is then I heard one of the staff tell her colleague that the lady lost her 26 years old son, an officer in Army couple of months ago near Afghanistan’s border.
At that moment, in a sudden flash, she didn’t seem like a typical overjoyed grandmother any more. There was tremendous pain in those tears, and oddly enough, I felt a lump form in my throat. This same pain still resonates with me as I write this post, or whenever this episode crosses my mind.
I do not personally know the officer who was killed; I do not know if he died fighting gallantly, or was hit by a stray bullet; I do not know if he was victim to a suicide bomber – a suicide bomber whose family assumes that their father or son embraced martyrdom; I do not remember reading about him in the papers, or hearing about him on the news – or maybe I did, and I simply do not recall it because there are so many like him these days.
I am not aware of whether there is a support system in place for those who are left behind, but it is about time we as a civil society do something about it, and not just leave it to the government. The government, I believe has already done their bit by awarding these silent soldiers medals of various cadres. Sadly, in the same event it also awarded a significant number of civil awards to phony achievers with a dubious past.
There is no way we can adequately repay these soldiers, who have silently given up their lives, for what, to be honest, is an unknown cause. They were probably just following orders, and laid down their lives at the line of duty. What we do not realise is that their death is also killing the people they have left behind.
That infant will never get to see his father, spend time with him, or play cricket with him. Imagine all the good times you spent with your father – all the special occasions that the newborn will have never have.
These men of honour deserve more than just a national holiday on September 6.
Apart from other facets of civil society, our media needs to come forward and play its role in raising awareness about what thesesoldiers have been doing for us. They should focus on creating respect for them rather than sympathy.
Our soldiers deserve to be heard, celebrated, and mourned. They do not deserve to be shadows of the past, or a number in the books of martyrs. We owe them and the people they left behind more.
As reported today in national media, President of Pakistan Master Asif Ali Zardari conferred 189 civil awards on Republic Day. The reason I mentioned Master instead of Mister is quite obvious, the whole process of conferring civil awards has been treated like a Master awarding his followers. It felt like a movie based on period drama, where a King is bestowing his cabinet with jewels.
Kiyoon? Maan gaye na?
I have somehow managed to get hold of a copy of the document which describes rationale (if any), reasons and achievements of award winners. This comes through an unreliable source so cannot be trusted. Anyhow, this is how it goes.
Beghum Nusrat Bhutto (Nishan-e- Imtiaz, NI): Presidency tried to awards her a ‘khitaab’ of Shaheed, but technically and legally was not able to do so. This also meant Nishan-e-Haider was out of question. So in recognition of her services for democracy in Pakistan (Democracy by the way is the best revenge, and Beghum Bhutto must take some blame for selecting our Master for her late Shaheed daughter) she has been conferred with Nishan-e-Imtiaz.
Late Mr. Salman Taseer (NI): Since President could not attend his funeral, he decided to confer Late. Mr. Salman Taseer with Nishan-e-Imtiaz.
Mr. Farooq Hamid Naeq (NI): For being Chairman Senate, simple as that.
Dr. Fehmida Mirza (NI): For her stone faced reactions during the whole Zulfiqar Mirza episode, President has conferred Nishan-e-Imtiaz on Dr. Sahiba. Awaam (you and me) has no clue which side Dr. Sahiba has been on throughout the show, and still doesn’t know. What they do know, is that Zulfiqar Mirza’s provincial assembly seat now belongs to his son Shehriyaar Mirza. Both PPP and Zulfiqar Mirza claim it as their victory.
Senator Dr. A Rahman Malik (NI): Since Senator Rahman Malik would not leave Presidency till he gets confirmation of NI, so he is also conferred with Nishan-e-Imtiaz. Rahman Malik also made Altaf Bhai call Master Zardari to make sure award is conferred (or MQM would have left coalition).
Mr. M Salman Faruqi (NI): For giving Pakistan a daughter (actually niece) like Sharmila Faruqi, and for being and old time accomplice of Master, in destruction of Pakistan Steel Mill during previous PPP regimes, Master has conferred Mr. Faruqi with Nishan-e-Imtiaz.
By now the ‘Imtiaz’ has vanished from Nishan-e-Imtiaz, thus leaving only a Nishaan behind. Thus we come to Hilal-e-Imtiaz.
Ms. Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy (Hilal-e-Imtiaz, HI): Apparently this lady has won highest possible award in her trait, and everyone is talking about her achievements, so let’s give her a Hilal-e-Imtiaz as Presidency has run out of quota for Nishan-e-Imtiaz which ofcourse went to more ‘deserving’ winners. Afterall, Presidency needs to add some goodwill to the awards show too. (Warning: She may feel lost in the esteemed company of other award winners)
Mrs. Farzana Raja (HI): For successfully acting as Business Development Manager for PPP in the capacity of Chairperson BB Income Support Program (actual details of achievements to be made public by Accountability Bureau of next government), the Master has awarded Mrs. Farzana Raja with Hilal-e-Imtiaz. (Clarification: No relation with Ramiz Raja)
Mr. Farhatullah Babar (HI): It takes some conviction, guts and balls to repeat what Master says for his public. Mr. Farhatullah Babar in his capacity as spokesman of Presidency has a very difficult job to do. He issues Master’s statements on his behalf (usually writes them too). So basically just for doing that, he is conferred with Hilal-e-Imtiaz.
Mrs. Nargis Sethi (Sitara-e-Imtiaz): Presidency has no clue why Mrs. Sethi, but hey, what the heck, who is going to stop it.
Sharmila Faruqi (SI): For having world’s best uncle (Mr. Salman Faruqi), President is conferring Sharmila Faruqi with Sitara-e-Imtiaz.
Mr. Hussain Haqqani (HI): For introducing the world and Pakistan to the character that is Mr. Mansoor Ejaz, Master has conferred Mr. Haqqani with Hilal-e-Imtiaz. Although Mr. Haqqani wanted the khitaab of ‘shaheed-e-jamhooriat’ but backed off after its consequences were revealed to him.
Meera (Pride of Performance): The award was actually meant for Veena Malik but ISI vetoed it, since Presidency had to give it to some actress, the only which could come to Mr. Farhatullah Babar’s mind was Meera, thus Pride of Performance is conferred on her. It does not necessarily means Presidency is actually proud of any of her performances (except few behind the door ones)
As part of standard operating procedure, Presidency has also awarded Pride of Performance to some prominent performers in their respective fields. The names which came out through ballot this year are Sahira Kazmi (art); Mohsin Gilani (actor); Noman Ejaz (actor); Saba Hameed (actress); Meera (film actress); Javaid Sheikh (actor); Muhammad Yousaf (cricketer); Suhail Asghar (artist); Sakeena Sammon (artist)
President has instructed respective Governors to dish out these awards in respective Governor Houses so that Master’s time can be saved.
Applications are being accepted for next year’s Nishan-e-Imtiaz at the moment (democracy permitting).
When it comes to sports, there are universally loved characters, universally hated characters and there are eccentric characters. This third kind; they are loved for their talent, but hated mostly for their behavior, commitment or any other trait on or off the field. My problem is, I seem to like these eccentric characters more than even the likable ones.
Why do we love a sportsman? He gives it all on the field, behaves well, credits his team despite performing in crunch period and inspires us to do better things. Why do we hate a sportsman? He looks disinterested, he is a loud mouth who is always complaining or chokes when it matters most. But then there are these eccentric characters, which are brilliant in the game, have this tendency of self destruction through a short circuit in their head or simply this is just how they are. For me, they add color to the game, which otherwise would just become a computer simulation. So without further ado, here is my short list of characters, which, whether you love them or hate them, simply just cannot ignore them.
Diego Maradona:
First ever poster I put up in my room was not Imran Khan or Wasim Akram, but Diego Maradona. I guess blurry visuals of 1986 FIFA World Cup where he tormented opposition defense must have been the reason for that. But most of the world remembers him for that ‘hand of god’ goal.
Somehow his heroics on field have always been over shadowed by his off field antics. A journalist once wrote about him ‘everything about Maradona is exaggerated, the good and the bad’.
Often celebrated as people’s champion, there is a long list of Maradona’s scandals. His club career in Europe gives you enough material to write more than one Hollywood flicks. Although his free kicks were no jokes, but some of his flying kicks would have given Bruce Lee tough times.
He decided to move to Italy instead of serving ban for this martial arts ridden performance. At Napoli, as much as he was god on the pitch, he remained a man off it. His list of issues would include cocaine addiction, rumors of close ties with the Neapolitan mafia and an illegitimate son. This was 90s, but paternity payouts and tax evasion claims still hang over him in Italy from those days.
His career in Italy ended after he was busted in drug test and received 15 month ban. His performance by then was not same due to weight gain but he was still good enough to get into Argentina team for 1994 World Cup. Another ban during the World Cup ended his playing career. In between somewhere he fired at journalist using an air gun. Maradona still has the ability to annoy, irritate and sometimes simply baffle. A quality he consistently displayed during last World Cup as Manager of Argentinean national team. He is currently managing Al-Wasl in UAE.
John McEnroe
I started watching Tennis in late 80s, and it was limited to famous Boris Becker vs Stephen Edberg duels in Wimbledon. But one man who although way past his best days but remained hard to ignore was John McEnroe.
Former world No.1 tennis player John McEnroe will always be remembered for his 7 Grand Slam titles. But what keeps McEnroe in our memories to this day, is his then on-court antics, which include four words we’ll never forget, “You cannot be serious!” which he’d made very sure, every chair umpire and linesmen had etched into their heads.
Known for his heated exchanges with umpires and match officials, John McEnroe was often fined and punished for ‘an overly expressive passion’ on more occasions than you would imagine. Some say his paid fines total more than his prize money worth. It would take some doing to count either.
After his retirement, John McEnroe has turned into a respected witty commentator. When asked to comment on Andre Agassi’s marriage with Steffi Graff on a television show, he said ‘their kids will be some helluva talent’.
Shoaib Akhtar
Shoaib Akhtar attracted wrong media attention even before he made it to national team, the sort of media attention only reserved for likes of Imran Khan and Sarfraz Nawaz during their ‘playboy’ days. For me, Shoaib Akhtar has represented all that is most glorious—and most ridiculous—about the wonderful world of Pakistani cricket. At times among the most devastating bowlers ever, the Rawalpindi Express was exhilarating to watch; he was at various times also arrogant, badly behaved and involved in fallings-out with more or less everyone.
Right arm, very fast
His career was anything but express. There was always an element of stop-start attached to him, frustratingly so. If I was to list down his injuries, I just cannot. His medical condition was unique, I would give him benefit of that doubt, what I am not sure about is his attitude or commitment towards the game in his early days. Even if he gets a clear chit for his injuries (and chucking controversies) there is a long, very long list of run-ins with law for various reasons. E.g.
2002: Hit by brick thrown by crowd during a game in Dhaka. Banned for an ODI for throwing a bottle at the crowd in Zimbabwe and ball tampering allegations.
2003: Dropped after 2003 World Cup, recalled and banned for ball tampering. Becomes Vice Captain for test against South Africa and is served up a lawsuit by a Pakistani citizen for attending a fashion show on a night of religious significance. Banned for one Test and two ODIs for abusing Paul Adams in the first Test. Misses Test in New Zealand with calf and groin injuries but is photographed one day before enjoying a jet-ski ride leaving management red faced in front of media.
2004: Captain questions his commitment and accuses him of feigning injury against India, but a PCB committee clears him. Ditches Bob Woolmer on a team bonding exercise of a walk from hotel to stadium and shows up in his sponsored Ferrari.
2005: Worcestershire Chairman publically calls him a disruptive influence in dressing room. Greg Chappel (Indian coach) questions his action after a successful series against India and more injuries follow.
2006: Banned for two years for testing positive for Nadrolone. Ban over-turned by PCB but dropped for World Cup over fears of ‘target testing’ by ICC.
2007: Fights injuries and named in First T20 World Cup squad, but sent back from South Africa after a fight with fellow paceman Muhammad Asif.
2008: Riddled with contract crises and injuries.
2009: (From Cricinfo) Further embarrassment for Shoaib as he’s withdrawn from the World Twenty20 squad after being diagnosed with genital viral warts. He later says he could have sued the PCB for going public over his skin condition. The board responds by serving a show-cause notice for violating his contract.
2010: Makes a comeback, stays largely controversy free (by his own standards at least)
2011: retires after 2011 world cup, but gets all due attention with release of his autobiography
In between all that and about a million injuries, he played 46 tests and 163 ODIs for 178 and 247 wickets respectively. He was good at breaking toes, hurling bouncers and installing fear among the opposition. He knew one way to bowl and it was fast, very fast. In short, he was entertainment.
Game continues to move on, but I doubt it will ever deliver the drama of an Shoaib. He remained to the last someone people could identify with, precisely because he was so flawed while being so undeniably brilliant. It’s the paradox of Shoaib: a once in a generation talent who was also a very odd kind of everyman. I’m definitely going to miss him.
He has made sort of a comeback as an studio expert on PTV Sports in his true Shoaib Akhtar style. His language and description remains colorful and ‘awaami’. Whether his second career brings more consistency to his life or will remain stop-start like his cricket career remains to be seen.
Mario Balotelli
Second footballer in my list, as of now nowhere near the might of first one. Mario Balotelli is without doubt one of the most interesting, but controversial players in the current game. Flashes of brilliance for the Etihad Stadium outfit, Inter and Italy testify to the 21-year-old’s ability, but scandal and strange off-field behaviour have never been too far away in the attacker’s short career to date. He remains the only footballer I know who is allergic to grass. I remember telling a friend how he reminds me of Shoaib Akhtar. Not a week passes without him becoming a news of some sort, on or off the field. Below are some of his reported incidents. Not in any particular order.
Balotelli accused his biological parents of ‘glory hunting’ when they tried to make contact with him after he became a professional footballer.
Infuriated Inter fans when he wore an AC Milan shirt in a television interview, was reportedly seen shopping in the AC Milan superstore, and his numerous fallings out with Jose Mourinho blighted his time at the San Siro.
Moved to Manchester City in August 2010 for a fee of £24 million, following Roberto Mancini to England.
‘Mad Mario’ has been involved in a raft of motoring incidents; he has been fined £10,000 in parking fines during his time in the United Kingdom, has had his car impounded 27 times and crashed his Maserati sports car within days of having it imported from Italy.
Turned the backyard of his English mansion into a quad bike track.
Balotelli is not shy when it comes to flashing the cash; when pulled over police the striker had £5000 in his wallet. When asked why he was carrying so much money by the police officer he replied: “Because I am rich.”
Last year, in December 2011 British Press reported he dressed up as Santa and handed out money on the streets of Manchester; an act rebuffed by Mario personally. The same month Balotelli also donated £200 to his local church, before paying for a £1000 round in a bar the same day.
Disciplinary matters have blighted his career – Balotelli has been sent off against West Brom, Dinamo Kiev and Liverpool. Fined £100,000 for throwing a dart at a City youth player because he was feeling bored.
Let off fireworks in his house the night before a Manchester derby, before becoming an ambassador for firework safety. Broke a curfew before a game against Chelsea to go to a local curry house, where he was involved in a mock sword-fight using rolling pins.
Scored in the said Manchester derby and unveiled a t-shirt with ‘Why Always Me?’ on it; City went on to win 6-1 at Old Trafford.
Why Always Him?
Has been involved in training ground bust-ups with Vincent Kompany, Jerome Boateng, Carlos Tevez and most recently Micah Richards.
After City won the FA Cup in 2011, Balotelli said: “This season I have been shit. Can I say that?”, on live television.
After he won the European Golden Boy trophy in 2010, Balotelli claimed to have never heard of runner up Jack Wilshere and stated that Lionel Messi was the only player in the world better than him.
Incensed Roberto Mancini by trying an audacious back heel finish when through on goal in against LA Galaxy in pre-season friendly match against LA Galaxy in the United States; was instantly substituted.
Was spotted using his iPad on the Italy bench in a game against the Faroe Islands.
This is all I could remember about, and I am sure I must have missed few days of his life. The thing about these characters is, as much as they have made news off the field, their achievments on the field are part of their over all charisma. Their respective sports would be poorer without these Bad Boys.
Warning: This post is written in a fit of rage, right after Pakistan’s defeat in third T20. If you don’t know the background, go and do whatever you were doing.
Warning 2 (Afterthought) : This post is not to be taken seriously. Even if it is bad, it is afterall humor. You are not supposed to blow up people’s houses over bad humor.
Misbah-ul-Curse
Misbah-ul Haq is that unique character, which brings out extremely diverse reactions from cricket fans. There are Imran Farhats whose very sight brings barrage of expletives. Then there are ever popular Shahid Afridis or Shoaib Akhters who despite all their flaws remain heartthrobs. But then there is this guy, who despite his seemingly simple demeanor and supposedly honest efforts makes me (and countless others) to whack his head with his very own bat. It makes me forget he was captain of that famous green wash. It makes me hate the Y of ‘Yeah Ofcourse’.
Misbah at his aggresive best
Now on a second thought, it’s not just Misbah’s fault. As my friend Sami mentioned on twitter, ‘this is one of the worst Pakistan chases I have seen, and I have seen pretty bad ones’. So have I. I am really tempted to mention few here.
Mohali 2011: I know what happened, you know what happened. And we all know who did it. Do you really want to go through it?
Somewhere in South Africa 2007: Whether it was in Johannesburg or Durban, who the hell cares. I have tried to erase this game from my memory and so far I have only succeeded in erasing the venue. Rest is still there. Yes, it was Misbah who played that scoop, and forgot there is a Mallu in every corner of the world. More so, at short fine leg. Bastard.
Where it all began.
After it all began
Now that we are on the subject of some classic Pakistan collapses, I will do Misbah a favor and mention some where he was not present.
Sydney 1992 and 2010: Chasing 216, Pakistan was bundled for 170 odd against (no points for guessing) India in a vital world cup match after a comfortable start. They were 100 odd for 2 at one stage. Winning the world cup helped us forget this game. However, 2010 will be tough to forget. Shadows will forever remain over something which only God knows was a collapse of Pakistani proportions or something shady.
Banglore 1996: Yes, India again. Chasing 287, Pakistan scored 248. One word, actually two words but one name. Aamir Sohail. But you know what, I would rather have Aamir Sohail than Misbah.
Faisalabad 1997: Chasing 140 odd against South Africa, Pakistan was shot out for 93. I just remember variety of poor shots.
I can continue few more but it will derail me from the subject of Misbah-ul-haq, as for now, I want to blame him for everything in my life.
As another friend Obaid said on twitter: Misbah-ul-haq, tujhey Allah poochey ga.
Self Explanatory
Oh, and if I was Mobilink Jazz Brand Manager, I woudn’t be running this Jazz- Yeh Khel Apna hai commercial featuring tuk tuk.
Afterthought: I am adding this portion after recieving about 23 emails in response. Only four of which can be be published due to certain ‘rangeeli’ language being used in it. But in anycase, I am happy with the response. It proves 1) Misbah actually has a fan club 2) I have cracked the code to bigger audience. This is already my most viewed post, within 12 hours.
For those who wrote hatemail, and are harmless: This is my blog bitches, go write your own blog. It is effing confusing to select from several platforms and then to come up with contect is not as easy as I thought it would be. So, either deal with it or deal with it.
For those who wrote hatemail, and are NOT harmless: Payen, i was just joking. Tussi te naraaz hogai?? I agree Misbah is the greatest captain Pakistan has had before and after Imran Khan. I believe he should remain captain of all three formats, and also of under-19 team so it can develop, and players like Awais Zia should be taught a lesson at an early stage.
It’s a bright, breezy morning but feels different. Sun, although mellow, feels harsh. Right now, at this very moment, I feel in a haze. There are sounds around me, they surround me like noises.
This sinking feeling is what I hate most. As if you are under the water and cannot breathe. This anger within, I want it to let me go. It feels so unlike me.
They say night is at its darkest before dawn. This is what they don’t tell you. Is this that darkest moment or the night has just begun?
This too will change. But I will remember this day, and this very moment.
Is this light end of the tunnel, or an incoming train?
Idea came from twitter of-course. And the fact that I thought no one really read them when I actually did mention few things about me. So apart from the fact that I wanted attention, I did not really have a topic in mind for next post. I then thought why would anyone be interested in reading 30 things about me, it’s not as if I am Justin Bieber, but then I thought why anyone would read my blog. Truth is there aren’t many who read my blog. Those who do will read this one too. If you are not one of them, let’s just say if I was you, I won’t read this. So, in no particular order or preference, here are 30 things about me.
- I am down with flu at the moment.
- I love winters, even though it gets me flu.
- I have never excelled in any of my hobbies. I master them just enough so I can talk about them. E.g. guitars and sports. I fear blogging would be next.
- A Chinese post graduate in Liverpool once asked me where Pakistan is located. And then went on to ask can we in Pakistan hear noise when US bombs Afghanistan.
- Racist slurs directed at me during my stay in UK never bothered me, I actually found them funny. My favorite was ‘you f**king Saddam’.
- I went to Liverpool John Moore’s University only because my friend also got admission there. No regrets though.
- In 8th grade, I went straight from being cricket team’s 12th man to Captain and led team in final. This change happened because there was a revolt against captain and team couldn’t agree on any of the other 11 players as captain. We lost final by 1 wicket and I scored a magnificent 1 run. Next year, I was 12th man again.
- I picked up guitar because of Salman Ahmed (Junoon). In my last job, I turned down an opportunity to sponsor his solo performance because I knew he would be singing. Felt guilty afterwards.
- First urdu audio tape I ever bought was Vital Signs first album. First English audio album I bought was a Best of Bryan Adams compilation.
- I am writing this post primarily because my wife is watching Sony TV. I am waiting for this drama to finish so my turn of remote can come. (Hey, at-least it’s not Humsafar).
- I cannot decide on my all time favorite cricket match. Too many options. My all time favorite cricket series would be 2005 Ashes.
- My all time favorite football match would be 2004 Champions League final. Liverpool came from 3 goals down to beat AC Milan (Barcelona of that era) on penalties. Thinking of that night in Istanbul still gives me goose bumps.
- My current car, Honda City is the first car I have bought from my own money. Previously I have either had cars bought by Baba or company maintained cars.
- I am actively looking for a job, yes, still. In the words of great sadistic band Staind, ‘It’s been a while’.
- I am a sucker for gangster movies. Al Pacino is greatest.
- During my agency life, once in a client meeting, somehow porn started running on big projector screen. I looked at my colleagues and they all pretended as if they haven’t looked at screen at all. Our lady client left the board room. All this time my boss was frantically pressing his keyboard keys to somehow stop the show. (I know what exactly happened but I can’t reveal everything here).
- I should start counting these points now.
18 – Anybody who was a friend in school days is now settled outside Pakistan. UK, Australia, USA, KSA, UAE etc.
19 – As much as David Gilmour (Pink Floyd) is the best song writer I have come across, Eric Clapton beats him hands up and feet tied when it comes to playing guitars.
20 – When I visited Lords, I felt like a small child. Can’t wait for the day when I take a tour of Anfield.
21 – Someday I will buy a drum kit, and a keyboard. Even though I will never be able to master them too.
22 – One of my clients planned a lawn exhibition; I forgot (over worked, under resourced) to forward an approved media plan to media department. His exhibition took place without a print campaign, and we blamed all the news papers in the plan. That’s the only work blunder I can think of.
23 – A friend of mine is working with Gulzar Sahab for an upcoming advertising campaign, wish it was me.
24 – I try to avoid conflicts at all costs. To the point of some times agreeing to points I shouldn’t be.
25 – I am comfortable working behind the scenes and without taking credit.
26 – I would like to change point number 25 in my next job, hasn’t served me well.
27 – Is anyone still reading this, if you are, I already like you. Appreciate your patience.
28 – Blues and Jazz are fast taking over Rock as my favorite genre of music. But I would listen to anything sensible.
29 – A friend of mine is also working with Salman Khan for his next advertising campaign. I am happy for him, but don’t really wish it was me. My wife does wish it was her.
30 – I have another mundane day lined up tomorrow.
As 2011 comes to an end, we get ready to read all sort of reviews for the year. They are done to put the past year in perspective, evaluate and learn, or just to write another blog post because it’s been a while and you are craving for attention from your regular bunch of five readers. Which category does this attempt falls in is for you to decide.
On our local front, we did not really have any PR disasters of Charlie Sheen proportion. We actually had bigger disasters. I would start with my favorite punch bag i.e. our government. With change in the air and almost unavoidable in 2012, when being the only question, I must admit I will in some ways miss this PPP government. This government inspired me to write, and gave me A list material to build upon. How can I ever thank government’s mouth piece Rehman Malik. Below is re-plug of some of his famous sayings in past year.
“They were wearing western clothes like in Star Wars.”
This was said during PNS-Mehran incident briefing. It took me some time to decide whether to laugh or cry on this. This statement infuriated Star Wars fans. He further added “They were smart looking young men”. I think he stopped short of saying “It seemed like they use to work out”. His red alert declaration seemed more like pink alert.
Rehman Malik - as he always should be
And then when Karachi was burning, he came up with a master piece, ““Majority of target killings in Karachi are done on behest of wives and girl friends”. Since I am myself tired of cracking on jokes on this one, I will let it go. Timing is definitely not his forte, on eve of world cup semi final against arch rivals India, he warned his own team of staying away from match fixing with his cover of Police’s rendition of ‘every move you make’.
These days, Malik Sahab is personally looking into Veena Malik’s FHM cover to determine whether it’s fake or not. He is still looking.
But then I cannot blame Rehman Malik when he has a boss like PM Gillani. Yes, I know who the real boss is, but technically speaking it is PM Gillani. Our Prime Minister’s first reaction on OBL raid was to congratulate entire world on end of terrorism. The world went silent. PM Gillani went silent. Then suddenly PM Gillani’s clock tuned to AM (perhaps after a call from GHQ) and the usual “this is not fair, this is not allowed” cry began.
Mein bolooon ke na bolooon?
PPP lot generally is a very innocent and naïve lot. Take Makhdoom Ameen Faheem for example, when questioned during a corruption scandal about source of 40 million rupees in his bank account, he replied, “ I am not sure why someone has deposited 40 million in my account. It must have been a mistake”. My bank account definitely needs that mistake.
Intelligence (and stupidity) has a trickledown effect in organizations. Only yesterday I was enlightened by a friend that Bilawal Bhutto’s exclusive article (supposedly a tribute for his mother) in a local daily was part plagiarized. He is after all co-chairman of the party.
All of this was avoidable; Bilawal could have just hired a ghost writer (if it was already written by a ghost writer, then a better and smarter working ghost writer is need of the day). Rest of them could have just shut up.
What I will not miss in 2012 is Mr (true to his last name) Ejaz Butt. When we make noise about destruction of PIA, Railways and Steel Mill during present regime, we somehow forget about PCB. My only comment for him is; good riddance.
All disasters on one side, Karachites will remember 2011 for one name. Nabeel Khokhar. In short, below is what we are holding our breath for. Just in case the self proclaimed poorly endowed gentleman hasn’t learned as yet.
Tadaaaa.....I am back !!!
Here’s a toast for 2012. May the change be for good.
Yes, you are all geared up to vote Imran Khan in next general elections, regardless of when they happen. But before that happens, there are more important elections taking place in Pakistan.
No kidding Sherlock !!
All you have to do is click on Pakistan Blog Awards 2011 and click on those 5 stars. Remember, it’s not going to cost you any money, so if you click on anything less than 5 stars, you are just proving yourself to be really stingy. Oh, and you better do it now, because voting u aends on 28th November, 2011. Yeah, I should’ve told you earlier but it’s I just found out I could promote myself shamelessly here. I am not sure if your one vote will count, but I don’t want to take any risks you know.
If I win, well then I just win. What do you expect? Haven’t you learned anything from democracy yet? If you are a judge reviewing my blog, please have mercy. I have been a good boy lately.
