Noble Piece Price


The 2011 Nobel peace prize was recently awarded to Tawakkul Karman, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, and Leymah Gbowee of Liberia, all leaders in their respective countries for promoting civil rights and bringing peace. Please don’t mind my general knowledge but I was not aware of the fact that there even was a problem in Liberia in the first place. It just sounds like a cool place somewhere in Europe. Now that I have googled it, I know it is not. More on Liberia some other time.

Forgive me for being estranged with global peace initiatives (if such a term exists). I am usually more occupied with trying to hide my cell phone so that it is saved from being snatched on the streets of Karachi. I am also occupied with returning home in ‘one piece’, hopefully in times of peace and preferably not tied in a bori (bag). The fact that I have so far survived s in itself a tribute to our local ‘Peace Players’. The fact that I recite Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I will survive’ every morning is another story.

We Karachites are more than aware of these scenarios and thus it surprises me, how in hell none of our ‘Peace Players’ ever get nominated for these fancy awards. My first reaction was to blame BCCI, Indian, Jewish and Americans for it. More introspective made me believe there might be a Karzai hiding somewhere in the panel of judges’ short listing.

So I came up with this idea. I approached a local electronics company and they have agreed to sponsor this event thus we can manage to keep the name ‘Noble Piece Price’. Through this award we will glorify most noble piece in our local peace keeping missions. Price because we ‘awaam’ pay the price. Here are our nominees:

Rehman Baba: Apart from the President, he has recently been awarded by PIA for accumulating most air miles by constantly travelling between Islamabad and Karachi and London. So much so that eventually other players (both in Karachi and London) became sick (quite literally) of his sight. There were also ‘Oh No, Not Again’ banners spotted on his arrival in Karachi and London. He brings lots of crap of highest order to our local scene. In another life he would have been a statistician doing a day job of a detective. More likely to be a Pink Panther sort rather than Sherlock Homes.

Famous Quotes:

“They were wearing western clothes like they do in Star Wars.”

“Majority of target killings in Karachi are done on behest of wives and girl friends”

Bhai:
Bhai has numerical advantage in Karachi and some other parts of Sindh. Loves talking on phone and half of his party budget was utilized in long distance calls until recently when he came across Skype. There are rumors Bhai will soon be named Brand Ambassador for Skype. I don’t exactly remember if his party is currently part of government or not but if it’s not then it will soon be. If it is, then soon it won’t be. That how it’s been.  Bhai’s one word (read phone call) opens and shuts Karachi. Bhai is and will die a legend. In fact I won’t even be surprised if he never dies.

Famous Quotes:

“Pardey mein rehney do, Parda na uthao”

“O Jageerdaaaaaaaraaaaaaaa”

“Salaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam”

Dr Sahab: Dr. Sahab closely went from being President’s best man on wedding to a total outcast. From Karachi’s Mr. Police to a celebrity vigilante. But in the process, won hearts of Sindhi Nationalists and single handedly managed to burn Karachi before apologizing. Some say all of that was part of the ‘big picture’ but fact is, his television interviews and press conferences are now stuff of the Prime Time and make TV ratings reach moon and probably stars too. If Bhai is an entertainer, Dr. Sahab is a ‘Baap of entertainment’. He is mixture of Amitabh Bachan and Chuck Norris all in one package. Has no control what so ever on what he is about to say and thus his party has put a big billboard outside its office which reads “That’s so very his personal opinion”. He gets nomination because he claims he can bring peace in Karachi in one week, but due to his words(which are usually spoken louder than actions) leads to appeals of peace from others.

Famous Quotes:

“Nangay Bhookay”

“Mera Khandaan yeh, Mera Khandaan Woh”

“Rehman Baba jaisey Bhai per laanat bhejta hoon”

Voting starts now.

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