Monthly Archives: December 2011

Replug – 2011

As 2011 comes to an end, we get ready to read all sort of reviews for the year. They are done to put the past year in perspective, evaluate and learn, or just to write another blog post because it’s been a while and you are craving for attention from your regular bunch of five readers. Which category does this attempt falls in is for you to decide.

On our local front, we did not really have any PR disasters of Charlie Sheen proportion. We actually had bigger disasters. I would start with my favorite punch bag i.e. our government. With change in the air and almost unavoidable in 2012, when being the only question, I must admit I will in some ways miss this PPP government. This government inspired me to write, and gave me A list material to build upon. How can I ever thank government’s mouth piece Rehman Malik. Below is re-plug of some of his famous sayings in past year.

“They were wearing western clothes like in Star Wars.”

This was said during PNS-Mehran incident briefing. It took me some time to decide whether to laugh or cry on this. This statement infuriated Star Wars fans. He further added “They were smart looking young men”. I think he stopped short of saying “It seemed like they use to work out”. His red alert declaration seemed more like pink alert.

Rehman Malik - as he always should be

And then when Karachi was burning, he came up with a master piece, ““Majority of target killings in Karachi are done on behest of wives and girl friends”. Since I am myself tired of cracking on jokes on this one, I will let it go. Timing is definitely not his forte, on eve of world cup semi final against arch rivals India, he warned his own team of staying away from match fixing with his cover of Police’s rendition of ‘every move you make’.

These days, Malik Sahab is personally looking into Veena Malik’s FHM cover to determine whether it’s fake or not. He is still looking.

But then I cannot blame Rehman Malik when he has a boss like PM Gillani. Yes, I know who the real boss is, but technically speaking it is PM Gillani.  Our Prime Minister’s first reaction on OBL raid was to congratulate entire world on end of terrorism. The world went silent. PM Gillani went silent. Then suddenly PM Gillani’s clock tuned to AM (perhaps after a call from GHQ) and the usual “this is not fair, this is not allowed” cry began.

Mein bolooon ke na bolooon?

PPP lot generally is a very innocent and naïve lot. Take Makhdoom Ameen Faheem for example, when questioned during a corruption scandal about source of 40 million rupees in his bank account, he replied,  “ I am not sure why someone has deposited 40 million in my account. It must have been a mistake”. My bank account definitely needs that mistake.

Intelligence (and stupidity) has a trickledown effect in organizations. Only yesterday I was enlightened by a friend that Bilawal Bhutto’s exclusive article (supposedly a tribute for his mother) in a local daily was part plagiarized. He is after all co-chairman of the party.

All of this was avoidable; Bilawal could have just hired a ghost writer (if it was already written by a ghost writer, then a better and smarter working ghost writer is need of the day). Rest of them could have just shut up.

What I will not miss in 2012 is Mr (true to his last name) Ejaz Butt. When we make noise about destruction of PIA, Railways and Steel Mill during present regime, we somehow forget about PCB. My only comment for him is; good riddance.

All disasters on one side, Karachites will remember 2011 for one name. Nabeel Khokhar. In short, below is what we are holding our breath for. Just in case the self proclaimed poorly endowed gentleman hasn’t learned as yet.

Tadaaaa.....I am back !!!

Here’s a toast for 2012. May the change be for good.