Monthly Archives: July 2014

One year.

It is around this time last year I received a call from ICU of hospital, asking me to reach there immediately. I had come back home barely an hour earlier having spent all day in the waiting area outside the ward. Basically going through motions, answering queries of relatives, friends and well-wishers. Holding on to the slimmest of hopes we could find from doctor’s updates. Six months and this was the first time I got a call from hospital, deep down I knew this is not good. I was worried I could not figure out who the caller was as he was not willing to divulge much, when you have a patient in hospital for 6 months; you manage to get to know most staff working there.

As luck would have it, I did not have a car at home. I called my sister who had just left my home little while ago to turn back and take me to hospital. She promptly did and within 15 minutes I was there. When I entered the ward, it surely was a new doctor as I was not familiar with him. He confirmed my name and as he just started talking I naturally turned to look at Baba’s bed and my heart sank looking at monitor. It showed straight lines instead of the ones I was used to seeing. This was just like movies. I noticed a nurse unplugging the equipment and then it occurred to me that it has happened, minutes before we reached there. My sister was talking to the nurse, reconfirming it while sobbing; I couldn’t hear what they were saying as all the sounds seem to come from far away. All I could hear was silence and all I could see was that visual from the monitor. I couldn’t gather myself to look at him, and I left the ward.

I felt numb. I tried to gather myself and thought of the stuff I had to do. I had to make a call to my cousin who about to board a plane, he had to be informed. I called him and he picked up and all I could manage to say was ‘ada’. I felt lost for words, how could I find adequate words for what just happened. I gathered all the strength to say it but could go past the word ‘ada’ again and broke down. Eventually he understood my speechlessness and said he is coming back. I then called up my elder brother to inform him and finally said it, “ada, baba has left us”. Whatever happened afterwards is of little consequence.  I had to make many more similar calls, with every call it started becoming more believable, words became easier to come.

It has been a year. I have learned to move on in life. I have learned to leave the regrets behind. But one regret which I am carrying, and will stay with me forever, is that I was not there in his last minutes. I don’t know, but what if he had opened his eyes to look out for someone of his own or to look out for me? I was not there when it mattered despite being there for last 6 months of his life. I was not there when it mattered most.


Dear Luis Suarez



Dear Luis Suarez,

Now that your transfer to Barcelona been confirmed, about time we should have this talk.

You know when Kenny Dalglish introduced you as substitute against Stoke at Anfield for your first appearance, I did not know much about you other than your hand ball heroic in the World Cup. But you made a great start by scoring on debut, and gave hope to the hearts still recovering from departure of a certain Fernando Torres. What actually made me take notice of you was your fourth appearance for Liverpool, versus Manchester United where you tore them apart and became my Man of the Match despite Dirk Kuyt getting a hat-trick. I knew we have a new star, a new rage and a new darling of the Kop.

We both know our time together has been a bit of up and down. You just can’t keep your self out of trouble, can you? Even if I do give you benefit of doubt for the whole Evra scenario (you know a benefit of doubt for you these days is rather difficult), your constant battles with authorities of the game were a regular feature. We, the fans at Liverpool saw it as competitiveness of someone who came up from a tough neighborhood and as ‘win-at-all-cost’ quality. You know we loved you. we loved you for that audacious dive on the feet of David Moyes’s, it was hilarious Luis. Brandan described it as ‘scouse humor’ and you became one of us if you weren’t by then. We loved you for that half line blinder of an goal against Norwich which left Steven Gerrard fuming because you didn’t pass it on him. But he forgave you because the ball went it. And you know, my heart sank when you sobbed after that draw against Crystal Palace this year, after all you brought us so close to title and back in the elites of game.

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Everton v Liverpool - Goodison Park

But Luis, as much as I understand your reasons behind this transfer to Spain, you should have thought more about it. Four years in Liverpool and you did not hear about the ‘curse of Kop’. You see my friend, when ever our darling strikers leave, they miss us terribly. So much so, great Ian Rush came back from Juventus after 18 months to re-discover his scoring form. Even our (not so) good friend Paul Scholes suggested that you should have had a word with Owen and Torres before taking this call. Really.

But it is not just the curse. I really think you have made a wrong choice in terms of your new club. Barcelona? Really?

Perhaps you forgot they have a habit of buying central strikers and playing them on flanks. Thiery Henry, remember? Won 6 tor 7 titles for them including Champions League but playing on the left wing. David Villa left recently because he wanted to play in the centre. Forget him, if you would recall, Number 9s, dont really last long there at Catalan land. Zlatan and Eto are two more cases. By the way, Neymar hasn’t settled as much, he is playing on the left (your preferred position if not centre) so that leave only right wing for you Luis. You see things start getting ‘Messi’ if you want to be at centre of the attack in Barcelona. Why do you think Sanchez left?

You see Luiz, there in Barcelona, if you have to make a 6 yard pass to Messi, you make it. If you don’t, it is not forgiven. You see Luis, You, Neymar, Iniesta and all are there to support Messi. He is the darling of the crowd. He is the main attraction. Rest of you are just a crowd. Remember how you got all that great service from Steven Gerrard, Raheem Sterling, Coutinho and Sturridge. That is exactly what you have to do there.

Anyways, that is all done now. You won’t hear crowd chanting your name for 90 minutes but so what? You get to live near your wife’s relatives. I understand.

That letter you wrote for fans, I find it hard to believe because I have been a PR man myself Luis, but I hope you mean it.

Regardless. Luis Suarez, We had great time as long as it lasted. Enjoy Spain. Best of luck.


A Liverpool Fan.

P.S: Rest your teeth a little, your next bite might be your last one on the ground.