Tag Archives: Pakistan

The Lords Experience

I was probably the first spectator in the stand along with my brother Ishtiaq. Play was supposed to start at 11:00. It was barely 9:30. That’s how early I have always been for cricket matches. Be it my first ever experience at Niaz Stadium in Hyderabad for a Pakistan – Srilanka match before 1992 World Cup or numerous other experiences at National Stadium in Karachi. I love to get in there early, get a feel of the ground, soak the atmosphere (or lack of it), and then watch players warm up and practise. But this was different. As we sat on our seats I said something to Ishtiaq and he replied, ‘let me absorb this for a while, I am at Lords to watch a test match. This is my dream come true.’ I could totally understand. He was a being a fan just like me. We were afterall at Lords cricket ground.

This day has more signifance due to the fact that Pakistan was playing. Last time I went to see a cricket match was for a Asia Cup game between Pakistan and Srilanka at National Stadium in Karachi in July 2008. Soon after, the attack on Srilankan team happened and international cricket stopped in Pakistan. So I was watching my team play after eight years. Now to he honest, I was vary of my record (or jinx) of Pakistan losing matches whenever I go to see them in stadium. Their win ratio is about 20% when I am in the crowd. And Pakistan hadn’t won at Lords since 1996. I don’t need to go into more details about what I was fearing despite the decent position we were in.

Another reason for coming in early was that from my experiences in Pakistan, I assumed it would take quite a bit of time to find the right gate and then enclosure to enter. When we reached the ground we saw a long que of MCC members formally dressed in the striped or baige blazers and ties. We were swiftly guided to right entrance by stewards and as soon as gates opened it was a smooth sailing. Unlike Pakistan, spectators were allowed to bring in their food and liquor (in limited quantity). However flags or banners were not allowed. Crowd in other stands was a good mix of people casually dressed in chappals and shorts to people in suits as well as uber cool fashionistas in smart casuals. As we entered we saw Nursery ground which is a small ground used for nets. It is situated behind the spaceship looking media centre and that is where the name Nursery End comes from. We stopped by there to see Sohail Khan and other coaching staff giving net practise to Muhammad Amir and Yasir Shah. Though none of it came to any help as Pakistan innings folded before we could open our packs of crisps. Before entering the stand, we decided to get some coffee and this is where we had our first encounter with Lords’s knowledable crowd. An old gentlemen wearing MCC jacket was sipping his tea and as I was mixing sugar to my latte, he asked us politely ‘do you lads think your team can finish the game today?’. I honestly didn’t think so. So I said that it will go to 5th day and I think England has a good chance considering lot of their first innings dismissals were poor shots to Yasir Shah and I expect them to play better. He said, ‘He is a good leggie this chap. And perhaps you are disregarding a weary fourth day pitch.’ As it turned out, I was. He left saying may the best team wins.

Our stand was right below media centre, opposite pavilion. We had a good view (mid/Long off position from Nursery End) and were under the shade on a sunny but breezy day. In terms of support, England had an edge but there was a vociferous Pakistani contigent scattered which made it’s presence felt throughout the day. English support was typical Lords. Neutral, sporting and sophisticated in it’s behaviour. There were usually some turned heads and raised eyebrows at Pakistani slogans and chants but plenty of smiles as well. On my left were two English gentlemen with whom I had numerous interesting conversations throughout the day. They would burst out laughing during Wahab Riaz’s great spell everytime he would beat a batsmen. He once commented that if there was rule that batsmen would have to walk back if they were beaten 5 times, both Woak and Baistrow would be out by now. His departing remark was that in the end, atleast England had more reviews left in DRS so they won on that account. On my right were couple of Desi young men, one of who didnt know Muhammad Aamir.

What I like about watching matches in grounds is you get to see some stuff which somehow is not evident on television coverage. I saw suited Wasim Akram talking to Rahat Ali and Wahab Riaz before start of play for good 15 minutes. He was holding a ball up in the air so it must have been either about release of the ball or arm positioning. Regardless, both Rahat and Wahab bowled well on the day. There were lot of memes on social media about Muhammad Hafeez and his utility to the team. Before Pakistan’s turn to bowl, Micky Arthur spent time with Hafeez on catching drills. Also, watching Wahab Riaz trying to make crowd clap for Muhammad Aamir when nothing seemed to be working for him was great to see.

I must admit during England’s main partnership, I did contemplate leaving early to avoid the rush. But my brother insisted to stay and thank goodness we did. As we were about to walk out after end of play, I saw Pakistani team line up on the ground and I thought I have never seen a match presentation ceremony on Lords ground so what are they upto? What happened afterwards will remain in our minds forever. And the fact that I saw it live, I can only express by saying that I was there when it happened. As we were walking out, Lords and its surrounding streets were resonating with Pakistan Zindabad slogans and for fans who had not seen their team in action for so long, you could feel nothing but pride.

P.S: I have tried resisting the urge to write a match report for two reasons: 1 – They are already out there and written by people who can do more justice than I can and 2 – You watch very little of the actual game itself when you are on the ground.


Waar (Movie Review) – Sort of.

Trailors for Pakistani movie ‘Waar’ surfaced more than a year ago and immediately generated curiosity and enthusiasm due to it’s slick promo. After a delay which seemed like forever, ‘Waar’ finally released on Eid. Last few days I have been reading public opinion on the movie on various social media platforms and they were usually on extreme ends.

There is a section which calls this movie another example of revival of Pakistani Cinema. They think we have outdone Bollywood, heck also Hollywood. While other side claims ‘Waar’ is sponsored by ISPR (Public Relations wing of Pakistan Army) and is as dumb as – well insert whatever you like here.

The truth for me is somewhere in between. While the director Bilal Lashari has come up with a beautiful body, it sure lacks a soul (screenplay). Director for sure knows how to constructs a beautiful shot, ‘Waar’ has a grand look to it in terms of production values and one wonders if it really is a local produce.


Credit should be given where it’s due. ‘Waar’ is definitely the best looking movie to have come out of Pakistan. But that is not the end of it. There are some geneuinely good moments in the movie and stunning shots. The murder sequence just before Interval stays with you due to it’s timing and excellent choice of background score (Song ‘Saathi Salaam’ by Indian artists Sawan Khan & Clinton Crejo). Also the scene where Ali Azmat is standing alone in a balcony imagining an applause. But they are too less to make an over all impact.

‘Waar’ has a major sore point, and it’s the storyline. Full of cliches and stereotypes, it unfolds at a slow pace and tests the audience. Major Mujtaba’s background unveiling takes forever to complete. It also throw’s a possible political debate, is India really responsible for all of Pakistan’s problems? Shouldn’t Islamic extremism share some of the burden?

As for performances, almost every actor’s accent is forced. I understand the urge to make movie in English, but why accents? Apart from accent, Shan gives a natural performance. He underplays his character, restrains from being over the top and looks suave. Shamoon Abbasi as the bad guy is adequate. Ali Azmat and Mishal Shafi surprise you while Ayesha Khan doesn’t gets much scope. Hamza Abbasi has some genuine moments.

Background score is to the point and leaves impact. Director Bilal Lashari exceeds in cinematography and editing departments, but falters badly as a storyteller. Over all, I would give it 2 and half out of 5 for it’s visual appeal.

‘Waar’ fact: 6 (Six) – is the number of times Shaan takes off his Ray Ban glasses only to put them on again in the movie.

Silent Soldiers

I was standing outside in the hospital corridor, opposite nursery waiting for my wife to return from operation theatre, after giving birth to our second child. Anxiety was in process of being replaced with happiness and I was enjoying the quiet moment.

Few minutes later, a nurse brought a new born baby boy and few ladies (family of the new born) followed her. One of the ladies, who looked like a typical grandmother sort of stood out from rest of the crowd. There was something not normal about her. She was constantly wiping off her tears, saying things like ‘My son is back’, ‘Mein Sadqey Jaoon’, ‘Mera beta aagaya’.

At first I thought it’s just another over reacting joyous grandmother. While rest of the family went to room, she remained in front of the window of nursery, looking at her grandson, and repeating her chants. It is then I heard one of the staff tell her colleague that the lady lost her 26 years old son, an officer in Army couple of months ago near Afghanistan’s border.

At that moment, in a sudden flash, she didn’t seem like a typical overjoyed grandmother any more. There was tremendous pain in those tears, and oddly enough, I felt a lump form in my throat. This same pain still resonates with me as I write this post, or whenever this episode crosses my mind.

I do not personally know the officer who was killed; I do not know if he died fighting gallantly, or was hit by a stray bullet; I do not know if he was victim to a suicide bomber – a suicide bomber whose family assumes that their father or son embraced martyrdom; I do not remember reading about him in the papers, or hearing about him on the news – or maybe I did, and I simply do not recall it because there are so many like him these days.

I am not aware of whether there is a support system in place for those who are left behind, but it is about time we as a civil society do something about it, and not just leave it to the government. The government, I believe has already done their bit by awarding these silent soldiers medals of various cadres. Sadly, in the same event  it also awarded a significant number of civil awards to phony achievers with a dubious past.

There is no way we can adequately repay these soldiers, who have silently given up their lives, for what, to be honest, is an unknown cause. They were probably just following orders, and laid down their lives at the line of duty. What we do not realise is that their death is also killing the people they have left behind.

That infant will never get to see his father, spend time with him, or play cricket with him. Imagine all the good times you spent with your father – all the special occasions that the newborn will have never have.

These men of honour deserve more than just a national holiday on September 6.

Apart from other facets of civil society, our media needs to come forward and play its role in raising awareness about what thesesoldiers have been doing for us. They should focus on creating respect for them  rather than sympathy.

Our soldiers deserve to be heard, celebrated, and mourned. They do not deserve to be shadows of the past, or a number in the books of martyrs. We owe them and the people they left behind more.

Bad Boys

When it comes to sports, there are universally loved characters, universally hated characters and there are eccentric characters. This third kind; they are loved for their talent, but hated mostly for their behavior, commitment or any other trait on or off the field. My problem is, I seem to like these eccentric characters more than even the likable ones.

Why do we love a sportsman? He gives it all on the field, behaves well, credits his team despite performing in crunch period and inspires us to do better things. Why do we hate a sportsman? He looks disinterested, he is a loud mouth who is always complaining or chokes when it matters most. But then there are these eccentric characters, which are brilliant in the game, have this tendency of self destruction through a short circuit in their head or simply this is just how they are. For me, they add color to the game, which otherwise would just become a computer simulation. So without further ado, here is my short list of characters, which, whether you love them or hate them, simply just cannot ignore them.

Diego Maradona:

First ever poster I put up in my room was not Imran Khan or Wasim Akram, but Diego Maradona. I guess blurry visuals of 1986 FIFA World Cup where he tormented opposition defense must have been the reason for that. But most of the world remembers him for that ‘hand of god’ goal.

Somehow his heroics on field have always been over shadowed by his off field antics. A journalist once wrote about him ‘everything about Maradona is exaggerated, the good and the bad’.

Often celebrated as people’s champion, there is a long list of Maradona’s scandals. His club career in Europe gives you enough material to write more than one Hollywood flicks. Although his free kicks were no jokes, but some of his flying kicks would have given Bruce Lee tough times.

He decided to move to Italy instead of serving ban for this martial arts ridden performance. At Napoli, as much as he was god on the pitch, he remained a man off it. His list of issues would include cocaine addiction, rumors of close ties with the Neapolitan mafia and an illegitimate son. This was 90s, but paternity payouts and tax evasion claims still hang over him in Italy from those days.

His career in Italy ended after he was busted in drug test and received 15 month ban. His performance by then was not same due to weight gain but he was still good enough to get into Argentina team for 1994 World Cup. Another ban during the World Cup ended his playing career. In between somewhere he fired at journalist using an air gun.  Maradona still has the ability to annoy, irritate and sometimes simply baffle. A quality he consistently displayed during last World Cup as Manager of Argentinean national team. He is currently managing Al-Wasl in UAE.

John McEnroe

I started watching Tennis in late 80s, and it was limited to famous Boris Becker vs Stephen Edberg duels in Wimbledon. But one man who although way past his best days but remained hard to ignore was John McEnroe.

Former world No.1 tennis player John McEnroe will always be remembered for his 7 Grand Slam titles. But what keeps McEnroe in our memories to this day, is his then on-court antics, which include four words we’ll never forget, “You cannot be serious!” which he’d made very sure, every chair umpire and linesmen had etched into their heads.

Known for his heated exchanges with umpires and match officials, John McEnroe was often fined and punished for ‘an overly expressive passion’ on more occasions than you would imagine. Some say his paid fines total more than his prize money worth. It would take some doing to count either.

After his retirement, John McEnroe has turned into a respected witty commentator. When asked to comment on Andre Agassi’s marriage with Steffi Graff on a television show, he said ‘their kids will be some helluva talent’.

Shoaib Akhtar

Shoaib Akhtar attracted wrong media attention even before he made it to national team, the sort of media attention only reserved for likes of Imran Khan and Sarfraz Nawaz during their ‘playboy’ days. For me, Shoaib Akhtar has represented all that is most glorious—and most ridiculous—about the wonderful world of Pakistani cricket. At times among the most devastating bowlers ever, the Rawalpindi Express was exhilarating to watch; he was at various times also arrogant, badly behaved and involved in fallings-out with more or less everyone.

Right arm, very fast

His career was anything but express. There was always an element of stop-start attached to him, frustratingly so. If I was to list down his injuries, I just cannot. His medical condition was unique, I would give him benefit of that doubt, what I am not sure about is his attitude or commitment towards the game in his early days. Even if he gets a clear chit for his injuries (and chucking controversies) there is a long, very long list of run-ins with law for various reasons. E.g.

2002: Hit by brick thrown by crowd during a game in Dhaka. Banned for an ODI for throwing a bottle at the crowd in Zimbabwe and ball tampering allegations.

2003: Dropped after 2003 World Cup, recalled and banned for ball tampering. Becomes Vice Captain for test against South Africa and is served up a lawsuit by a Pakistani citizen for attending a fashion show on a night of religious significance. Banned for one Test and two ODIs for abusing Paul Adams in the first Test. Misses Test in New Zealand with calf and groin injuries but is photographed one day before enjoying a jet-ski ride leaving management red faced in front of media.

2004: Captain questions his commitment and accuses him of feigning injury against India, but a PCB committee clears him. Ditches Bob Woolmer on a team bonding exercise of a walk from hotel to stadium and shows up in his sponsored Ferrari.

2005: Worcestershire Chairman publically calls him a disruptive influence in dressing room. Greg Chappel (Indian coach) questions his action after a successful series against India and more injuries follow.

2006: Banned for two years for testing positive for Nadrolone. Ban over-turned by PCB but dropped for World Cup over fears of ‘target testing’ by ICC.

2007: Fights injuries and named in First T20 World Cup squad, but sent back from South Africa after a fight with fellow paceman Muhammad Asif.

2008: Riddled with contract crises and injuries.

2009: (From Cricinfo) Further embarrassment for Shoaib as he’s withdrawn from the World Twenty20 squad after being diagnosed with genital viral warts. He later says he could have sued the PCB for going public over his skin condition. The board responds by serving a show-cause notice for violating his contract.

2010: Makes a comeback, stays largely controversy free (by his own standards at least)

2011: retires after 2011 world cup, but gets all due attention with release of his autobiography

In between all that and about a million injuries, he played 46 tests and 163 ODIs for 178 and 247 wickets respectively. He was good at breaking toes, hurling bouncers and installing fear among the opposition. He knew one way to bowl and it was fast, very fast. In short, he was entertainment.

Game continues to move on,  but I doubt it will ever deliver the drama of an Shoaib. He remained to the last someone people could identify with, precisely because he was so flawed while being so undeniably brilliant. It’s the paradox of Shoaib: a once in a generation talent who was also a very odd kind of everyman. I’m definitely going to miss him.

He has made sort of a comeback as an studio expert on PTV Sports in his true Shoaib Akhtar style. His language and description remains colorful and ‘awaami’. Whether his second career brings more consistency to his life or will remain stop-start like his cricket career remains to be seen.

Mario Balotelli

Second footballer in my list, as of now nowhere near the might of first one. Mario Balotelli is without doubt one of the most interesting, but controversial players in the current game. Flashes of brilliance for the Etihad Stadium outfit, Inter and Italy testify to the 21-year-old’s ability, but scandal and strange off-field behaviour have never been too far away in the attacker’s short career to date. He remains the only footballer I know who is allergic to grass. I remember telling a friend how he reminds me of Shoaib Akhtar. Not a week passes without him becoming a news of some sort, on or off the field. Below are some of his reported incidents. Not in any particular order.

  • Balotelli accused his biological parents of ‘glory hunting’ when they tried to make contact with him after he became a professional footballer.
  • Infuriated Inter fans when he wore an AC Milan shirt in a television interview, was reportedly seen shopping in the AC Milan superstore, and his numerous fallings out with Jose Mourinho blighted his time at the San Siro.
  • Moved to Manchester City in August 2010 for a fee of £24 million, following Roberto Mancini to England.
  • ‘Mad Mario’ has been involved in a raft of motoring incidents; he has been fined £10,000 in parking fines during his time in the United Kingdom, has had his car impounded 27 times and crashed his Maserati sports car within days of having it imported from Italy.
  • Turned the backyard of his English mansion into a quad bike track.
  • Balotelli is not shy when it comes to flashing the cash; when pulled over police the striker had £5000 in his wallet. When asked why he was carrying so much money by the police officer he replied: “Because I am rich.”
  • Last year, in December 2011 British Press reported he dressed up as Santa and handed out money on the streets of Manchester; an act rebuffed by Mario personally. The same month Balotelli also donated £200 to his local church, before paying for a £1000 round in a bar the same day.
  • Disciplinary matters have blighted his career – Balotelli has been sent off against West Brom, Dinamo Kiev and Liverpool. Fined £100,000 for throwing a dart at a City youth player because he was feeling bored.
  • Let off fireworks in his house the night before a Manchester derby, before becoming an ambassador for firework safety. Broke a curfew before a game against Chelsea to go to a local curry house, where he was involved in a mock sword-fight using rolling pins.
  • Scored in the said Manchester derby and unveiled a t-shirt with ‘Why Always Me?’ on it; City went on to win 6-1 at Old Trafford.

Why Always Him?

  • Has been involved in training ground bust-ups with Vincent Kompany, Jerome Boateng, Carlos Tevez and most recently Micah Richards.
  • After City won the FA Cup in 2011, Balotelli said: “This season I have been shit. Can I say that?”, on live television.
  • After he won the European Golden Boy trophy in 2010, Balotelli claimed to have never heard of runner up Jack Wilshere and stated that Lionel Messi was the only player in the world better than him.
  • Incensed Roberto Mancini by trying an audacious back heel finish when through on goal in against LA Galaxy in pre-season friendly match against LA Galaxy in the United States; was instantly substituted.
  • Was spotted using his iPad on the Italy bench in a game against the Faroe Islands.

This is all I could remember about, and I am sure I must have missed few days of his life. The thing about these characters is, as much as they have made news off the field, their achievments on the field are part of their over all charisma. Their respective sports would be poorer without these Bad Boys.


Warning: This post is written in a fit of rage, right after Pakistan’s defeat in third T20. If you don’t know the background, go and do whatever you were doing.

Warning 2 (Afterthought) : This post is not to be taken seriously. Even if it is bad, it is afterall humor. You are not supposed to blow up people’s houses over bad humor.


Misbah-ul Haq is that unique character, which brings out extremely diverse reactions from cricket fans. There are Imran Farhats whose very sight brings barrage of expletives. Then there are ever popular Shahid Afridis or Shoaib Akhters who despite all their flaws remain heartthrobs. But then there is this guy, who despite his seemingly simple demeanor and supposedly honest efforts makes me (and countless others) to whack his head with his very own bat. It makes me forget he was captain of that famous green wash. It makes me hate the Y of ‘Yeah Ofcourse’.

Misbah at his aggresive best

Now on a second thought, it’s not just Misbah’s fault. As my friend Sami mentioned on twitter, ‘this is one of the worst Pakistan chases I have seen, and I have seen pretty bad ones’.  So have I. I am really tempted to mention few here.

Mohali 2011: I know what happened, you know what happened. And we all know who did it. Do you really want to go through it?

Somewhere in South Africa 2007: Whether it was in Johannesburg or Durban, who the hell cares. I have tried to erase this game from my memory and so far I have only succeeded in erasing the venue. Rest is still there. Yes, it was Misbah who played that scoop, and forgot there is a Mallu in every corner of the world. More so, at short fine leg. Bastard.

Where it all began.

After it all began

Now that we are on the subject of some classic Pakistan collapses, I will do Misbah a favor and mention some where he was not present.

Sydney 1992 and 2010: Chasing 216, Pakistan was bundled for 170 odd against (no points for guessing) India in a vital world cup match after a comfortable start. They were 100 odd for 2 at one stage. Winning the world cup helped us forget this game. However, 2010 will be tough to forget. Shadows will forever remain over something which only God knows was a collapse of Pakistani proportions or something shady.

Banglore 1996: Yes, India again. Chasing 287, Pakistan scored 248. One word, actually two words but one name. Aamir Sohail. But you know what, I would rather have Aamir Sohail than Misbah.

Faisalabad 1997: Chasing 140 odd against South Africa, Pakistan was shot out for 93. I just remember variety of poor shots.

I can continue few more but it will derail me from the subject of Misbah-ul-haq, as for now, I want to blame him for everything in my life.

As another friend Obaid said on twitter: Misbah-ul-haq, tujhey Allah poochey ga.

Self Explanatory

Oh, and if I was Mobilink Jazz Brand Manager, I woudn’t be running this Jazz- Yeh Khel Apna hai commercial featuring tuk tuk.

Afterthought: I am adding this portion after recieving about 23 emails in response. Only four of which can be be published due to certain ‘rangeeli’ language being used in it. But in anycase, I am happy with the response. It proves 1) Misbah actually has a fan club 2) I have cracked the code to bigger audience. This is already my most viewed post, within 12 hours.

For those who wrote hatemail, and are harmless: This is my blog bitches, go write your own blog. It is effing confusing to select from several platforms and then to come up with contect is not as easy as I thought it would be. So, either deal with it or deal with it.

For those who wrote hatemail, and are NOT harmless: Payen, i was just joking. Tussi te naraaz hogai?? I agree Misbah is the greatest captain Pakistan has had before and after Imran Khan. I believe he should remain captain of all three formats, and also of under-19 team so it can develop, and players like Awais Zia should be taught a lesson at an early stage.